Tuesday, February 15, 2011

these are my confessions...

So, I have a CONFESSION!!

WOW...that was more difficult than I thought it would be!
I am admitting to everyone (ok, whoever will read this), that I deal with fear!

Why in the world would I be afraid?

I didn't really know how to describe my fear until TODAY after a conversation with a friend and mentor who guided me to this conclusion:

I'm afraid of myself!
I know that doesn't make much sense, but this is what I'm saying...

I'm afraid of the power that is within me!
I'm afraid of the consequences AND responsibilities that come with who I am and who God made me.
I'm afraid of doing the things that I am purposed to do because of what will happen as a result (in my life and the lives of others)...change, growth, empowerment, increased knowledge, new life, joy, wealth, etc.

I'm afraid of myself!

As soon as I started writing this post, I thought about the famous quote by Franklin Roosevelt where he said the "only thing to fear is fear itself" but what in the world does that mean to me?

It means that when I fear I LOSE my power.
So, I should actually fear being afraid because it leaves me powerless.
It keeps me from moving into my purpose and destiny and keeps me in a place of uncertainty, doubt, lack, and despair.

Well, TODAY, I am making the decision to acknowledge the fear and walk away from it.
- I am determined to have the power, love and sound mind that Paul spoke about in the Bible.
- I am determined to stop negative thoughts that keep me from being able to will God's blessings into my life.

Life is a challenging journey...but one assurance that we all have is that it will end.
I don't want to live a life of fear and doubt. I want to leave my mark on this world by living out my purpose and knowing that who I was made a difference to someone.

I will continue this discussion as I fight, pray, and live through it.

If you deal with fear (of anything) and it's holding you back (I'm pretty sure it is) in any way, then I'd challenge you to acknowledge it, name it, then make a decision to either continue to let it follow/lead you or to walk away from it!


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